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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Seven Places I'd Rather Be Right Now

Right now, I am positioned in a steaming sauna in which my arms are slowly melting, melding into my legs, sweat pooling on the back of my neck.
No, really.
My fingers are placing little sweat marks on my keyboard. Icky, little sweat marks.
Can you say "EW!"
It is hot. Sure, 85 degrees may not seem overbearingly hot, but when you're stuck in the room above the basement, it's a whole other story.
It is more than just hot.
And so I have no idea why I'm sitting here, at my computer (that is making a disturbing whoosh sound), when I could be at so many other places. Yeah right.

First: the pool. I need that cool blue water on me right now, soaking me to the point in which heat has no meaning. But that's not going to happen, I assure you.

Second: Antarctica. Unrealistic, and utterly stupid, I realize. But can you blame me? When I'm being overheated to the point of--cue the gasp--laziness?!

Third: The Krusty Krab Freezer. Alright, I know this one is dumb too, but after seeing that episode...with all the ice... and burgers... Call me insane, but that sounds like freakin' paradise to me right now.

Fourth: Canada. I mean, does it get annoyingly, burning hot up there? Probably, considering I know nothing about Canada. But still! I want the cold! And I heard there are some pretty charming people up there...well, I've heard that from the Bieber lovers (ick!) ... but I'm sure there are cool people up there! God, the puns could just go on and on.

Fifth: Mount Everest. Primarily, the top of it. I'd get to have the fame of climbing the mountain and be cooled down. Instantly. Now getting up there, that's another issue...

Sixth: the Moon. I heard it's pretty chill up there. Plus, it would be awesome to wear an astronaut suit. I could collect moon rocks too!

Seventh: The North Pole. I could say hello to Santa Claus. 'Nuff said.

I wish I could curl up with a cup of Rita's Italian Ice right now and call it a day, but that's not going to happen... Because I had Rita' the day before yesterday...and it's too late to go now. I guess I'll just have to settle for ice cream... or chocolate... or berry punch... or all three of those things.

I'm going to go before I bore you (if I haven't accomplished that feat already) into oblivion.

Ta-ta for now!

~Banana Win

P.S. This is some pretty picture from some place called Lake Louise in some place called Alberta, in Canada! Doesn't that look pretty... and not burning hot?!

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