After you're done reading, you could scroll down below and do my poll (and rate my blog)...Just saying. :)

Friday, March 23, 2012

One of Those "Worst Day Ever" Moments

So I can't say that today was my absolute Worst Day Ever, but it comes pretty close. To put it simply, my day consisted of:

Stress (from home) x Friends (stressing me out) + 1(annoying mistake) + 1(program that would not cooperate) = Bad Day

Simple equation, I assure you.

I have this one friend. We had to choose groups among our friends for a trip. There's this big mix-up, probably some lies involved and some secrecy. I get into a group. We were both supposed to be in it. We didn't get in together. Well, she didn't get in it. What does this create? Problems. So she doesn't have a group, and everyone needs a group to go on the trip!

She starts crying. Yes, I know you're sad. Yes, I know you're stressed. But for God's sake it's not the end of the world! I felt really bad though--even though I knew nothing was my fault.

We try to solve the problem. Her way of solving the problem was to leave my group whom I wanted to go with and pair up with her. There are four people in a group. One + One does not equal Four. It wouldn't work. We would get split up. Or put together with some random people.

Now tell me, isn't that a bit selfish? At first I didn't say anything, but she just kept on pressuring me! For the love of all above, why?

She kept on provoking me, "Yeah you could just leave your group, it'll be fine, they probably won't get split up anyway," or, "Yeah, then we can be together at least, and we could find someone," to "Yeah, since it's not too hard to change it, we can find a way to fix it."

I felt like yelling at her: Did I agree to go with you? With someone who isn't that close of a friend? With one other person who, not to mention, does not talk so much? And then get paired up with people I'm not close with?

Talk about aggravating! She had to go drag everyone into it, cry--please, it's not such a big deal--and then pressure me. I chose against her, thank you very much.

Now I know, I know, it may seem like I'm being a mean person or something like that, but think about it fairly: If one friend wanted to go with you compared to two close friends (not including the third girl) who wanted to go with you, who would you choose? Will crying help? Would pressuring help?

Frankly, I'm a very blunt person. I see things in black and white. I look at a situation and I see the best option. My friend should have understood that though she may have fun--I wouldn't. She should have taken into consideration my own feelings. Instead of me dragging me through a hell of a mess adding onto my hell of a day.

She sure knows how to make a person feel more stressed. Her problems looked so petty compared to moving to another state. I hope she learns one day that there are bigger things to cry about. (And no, this does not imply that she won't ever learn, Anonymous who commented on my last post. Assuming can sound very condescending, and the comment sounded more like a lecture than anything else. If you want to lecture, start your own blog! And see, I was still nice in my reply to your comment--I said thank you.)

Today was definitely one of those "Worst Day Ever" moments.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

We're Luckier Than We Think

I recently read "Night" by Elie Wiesel.
It was one of the saddest pieces of literature I have ever read.
Each word held so much emotion.
And the actual story; my lord it was unbelievable. But the sad thing is, is that the whole story is true.
It's a true holocaust memoir.
It made me think about life. How bad do I actually have it? Yes, I'm annoyed that I have to uproot my life for the umpteenth time, but that's nothing compared to the horrors of the holocaust.
I thought my life was messed up. My life is nothing compared to the horrors that Wiesel writes of.
At least I have a home.
My freedom.
The ability to walk.
But I can't help but get so mad and infuriated; so annoyed; so much so that I block my friends out. I let bitterness overcome me. But am I just being selfish?
Maybe it's just human nature.
Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I can be in a worse situation.
But I truthfully think that we can't say one person's life is harder than another's; especially if both of them have gone through hardships.
Sometimes I think my friends are so naïve. Naïve about moving. About parent-relationships. So what if I hate my dad? I have reason to. People don't always get forgiveness. Even if he never did anything to hurt me physically, does that mean I still can't feel emotional pain? They are a bit too naïve sometimes. But I guess I've experienced more than they have. They have their lives to live, and I have mine.
That's the other thing. We're born all alone, into this world. We die by ourselves, we don't take anyone with us. Is it just irony that human nature causes us to want to talk to others? Bond with others? Love others?
I want to hate love. But it's hard.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm lucky. That I could be worse off.

We're luckier than we think.

~Banana Win